"Climb in, Father. 'Story Jokes About ArsenalA Spurs fan, a Watford fan and a Gunners fan came across a nude, dead woman in the street. Q: What is the difference between a Tottenham supporter and a baby? Be realistic.Arsenal fan: Okay. "That's OK," replied the priest "I got him with the door." "I'd like to donate some sperm" he says to the receptionist. What should you do? A: Nice tattoo Godspeed. 679215 Registered office: 1 London Bridge Street, London, SE1 9GF. Turn off the PlayStation. Any suggestion that supporters celebrating second place were incorrect to do so betrays a lack of understanding of the specific context, and from a broader perspective, the very essence of what makes football what it is. Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Johnny says; 'No, but I was too embarrassed to say he played for Tottenham Hotspur.' Arsenal are no strangers when it comes to mocking local rivals Tottenham. A: Because Arsenal supporters have started to make them up themselves. Whats the difference between Tottenham Hotspur and a mosquito?A mosquito stops sucking. "Well, it says on your record that you're a useless wanker.", How do you make an Arsenal fan a millionaire?Tell them to save up for the champions league final. Im looking for a rubbish tip.The other man said, Arsenal to win the Premier League., A woman was reading a newspaper one morning when she mentioned a piece of news to her husband.Take a look at this, dear. But, as usual, he swerved back onto the road just in time. ", "Nope", The copper replied, "I already know that under every Arsenal cap is a cunt!". What do you say to a Spurs fan with a good-looking bird on his arm?Nice tattoo. Suddenly the train went through a tunnel and, as it was an old style train, there were no lights in the carriages and it went completely dark. What does THFC stand for?Tottenham Heading For the Championship. The rude-abega. Do that, and Arsenal fans won't even have to rely on Tottenham's annual failings to put a smile on their faces. One day while driving along, he saw a priest. Q: What's the difference between onions and an Arsenal supporter? She sits down with Johnny and asks him if this is really true about his dad. Why did Jos Mourinho got sacked by Spurs?He aint that special. Go to Arsenal's store (opens in new tab). He refuses to look at them. It's another one of football's immutable laws; a binding force holding Arsenal in place: Never too good. After though, Mikel Arteta dragged them all away and got them instead to celebrate with the away fans, hilariously having to take extra care to remove Granit Xhaka from the situation. 0 Comments. A: They can't string three "Ws" together. What should you do? Did you hear what Englands 1st gay professional footballer said?Its his dream to play for Arsenal.. Tottenham fan Joseph Watts, 35, has pleaded guilty at Uxbridge Magistrates' Court to assaulting Arsenal goalkeeper Aaron Ramsdale on the pitch after the North London Derby against Tottenham Hotspur on January 15. ", A third declared: "How embarrassing for Arsenal, that the official website has stooped to the banter levels of a twitter tween. and they also made jokes . A booming voice welcomes them as they stroll via the doorways. Arsenal fans still sing his name with pride and affection. Ever since the Gunners made the move from south of the river to Islington in 1913, there's been needle between the red and white sides of north London. And then a fan jumped over and gave me a little punch [sic] in the back. He wants us to win the European Trophy, the dogs owner replies.The pub owner then asked what the dog says when Tottenham wins an away European match, to which the man replied, I dont know. It is one of football's immutable laws, to be ranked alongside Germans winning penalty shootouts at the very top of the list. What does a Spurs fan do after he sees his team win a trophy?Turns off the Xbox. Arsenal Jokes Back to: Sports Jokes Follow @quickjokes Q: What do you call 100 Arsenal supporters at the bottom of a cliff? You have a gun with two bullets. )Emery day Arsenal fans are hoping for a better season! Q: What do you call 100 Tottenham Hotspur supporters at the bottom of a cliff? The bad news for Arsenal is that in much the same way as Tottenham's repetitious subordination to their rivals has become a punchline, Arsenal invite jokes of their own by being stuck in their own time loop of disappointment. Plus tips on how to play better and interviews with the biggest names. A: Because Tottenham supporters have started to make them up themselves. He rushes over, introduces himself and takes out his pad and pencil to start his story for the next edition. ", Another messaged: "This is such a good marketing technique to get more clicks on their website. not knowing where the noise came from, he glanced in his mirrors but still didn't see anything. You wouldn't do a thing like that,-would you?' SOL CAMPBELL has slammed Tottenham fans for the years of abuse aimed at him following his move to Arsenal.The Englishman made the move to Arsenal afte . They enter the weekend occupying the last of the Champions League qualifying places after 25 . Arsenal fan Laura Woods twists knife in to Tottenham supporter Jamie O What is the difference between Tottenham and a book?A book has a title. Tottenham 0-2 Arsenal: Aaron Ramsdale attacked by fan after north A: The baby will stop whining after awhile. Q: Why do Arsenal fans suck at geometry? (Wenger who? Washington should change their name to "Senators," and Cleveland could become the "Steamers.". A: The accused. Explore the lighter side of being an Arsenal fan! Why did he say that when the result was announced that Tottenham lost?Because hes a Spurs supporter. Sporting Lisbon have a bad history with Arsenal while Tottenham might have inadvertently helped their rivals to success in Europe. TwiceFC Arsenal Funny JokesFire brigade phones Arsene Wenger in the early hours of Sunday morning "Mr Wenger sir, Highbury is on fire! Jessica Amlee Read ourTransfer News Live blogfor the very latest rumours, gossip and done deals, Moment Aston Villa's Leon Bailey inhales 'laughing gas' after all night party, Mason Greenwood's England future revealed after rejecting country switch, Nicky Butt quit Man Utd as he couldnt stand players beating him to team, Man Utd considering THREE options for Mason Greenwood if he stays at club, News Group Newspapers Limited in England No. ", So the reporter starts again: "Gooner git kills family pet". Quasimodo then said, 'How do I know I'm the world's ugliest person? 'Of course I wouldn't!' He takes off his clothes for other men, and if they pay him enough money, he goes into the alley and performs sexual acts on them.' But in amid the delight and schadenfreude enveloping the red half of north London, there is a. After they crawl out of their cars, the Spurs fan says. A: The baby will stop whining after awhile. Recall that . As the goals flew in for Arsenal at Emirates Stadium in their 4-0 win against Aston Villa, in Newcastle the opposite was being inflicted on Tottenham as they somehow slumped to a 5-1 deficit against a relegated team with 10 men. 32+ Delightful Funny Arsenal Jokes | arsenal banter, arsenal champions Career Day Bath As a result of the followers began to make them up themselves. A: A good start! The Spurs fan put his cap over one breast, the Watford fan put his cap over the other, and the Gooner put his cap "down below". A: Dress her in an Arsenal jersey! Here you'll find all collections you've created before. Not really knowing what an Arsenal supporter was, but wanting to be like their teacher, hands explode into the air. 35 Tottenham Jokes You Can't Share With Spurs Followers When will Manchester United win the Premier League again? Do you have any questions or comments? The primary cause of the rivalry between the two arose out of their decision to move from Woolwich to Highbury in 1913. A: Because you can park in the handicap zone! ", Feeling the need to point out their trophies won, this fan messaged: "Last time I checked, 3 European Trophies, 2 League Titles, 8 FA Cups, 4 League Cups.". BETWEEN TOTTENHAM and ARSENAL FANS at NORTH LONDON DERBY Arsenal Story JokesArsene Wenger was to meet his new girlfriend outside the Cinema at 7pm, at 9pm she had still not arrived, so he went home furious. Arsenals 100% win record start to the EPL season 2022-23 was finally ended after six games, and fans are speculating about a similar pattern in previous seasons post-Wenger era. While in Heaven's waiting room, they were all entitled to a private conference with God, who would answer for them one question. Please refresh the page and try again. Then there was this kissing noise and the sound of a really loud slap. Tottenham could strengthen their position in fourth place in the top-flight table with a win at Wolves. Sol Campbell slams Tottenham fans' abuse over controversial Arsenal A: Frequent Flyer Miles earn points. 58 Votes A: A good start! A: Last years winner of the hide and seek contest. Save my name, email, and website in this browser for the next time I comment. "So you're an Arsenal fan, that's interesting. Twice. Q: Why did god invent alcohol? Required fields are marked *. Q: What's the difference between Frequent Flyer Miles and Arsenal? The priest climbed into the passenger seat, and they continued down the road. Taking to Twitter, a fan remarked: "Only Arsenal will duck a fixture against us then have the arrogance to drop a s*** trophy joke on the club website which isnt even true. The general shifted in his seat and looked down at the table. Backtrack to May 2022, a date Gunners' fans will not remember fondly. How do you know Antonio Conte must have hurt his leg whilst at Tottenham Hotspur?He is always relying on Son and Kane. The third cat says "I support Arsenal, I'm not that hungry thanks", They aren't that highly rated and no one really knows much about them, but apparently they're a small club from North London. A man is sitting in a pub with his Jack Russell dog on Tuesday night. Cristian Stellini now warns Tottenham to 'take care' with one Wolves player Why dont they drink tea at White Hart Lane?Because all the cups are in Manchester. A former Arsenal academy star, Bennacer has the chance to gain some favourable points with his ex-north London side with a big performance against Tottenham in the Champions League, and. Knock, knock. I'll give you a lift!" The receptionist replies Little Johnny is last, and finally the teacher calls on him to talk about his dad. I hope you have enjoyed reading all of these Arsenal jokes as much as I have :DPlease feel free to read more about Arsenal FC from the links below Would you prefer to share this page with others by linking to it? I know it's bad, but everyone deserves a good arsenal of dad jokes. Enjoy the team's latest comic relief and have a laugh at their expense, from FIFA to Scunthorpe! Arsenal fans still celebrate in song the glory years when they enjoyed title victory on enemy territory at Tottenham in the Double-winning year of 1971 and again under Arsene Wenger in 2004. The Arsenal players understandably weren't happy with the situation and rushed over to defend their man of the match, especially due to an altercation with Richarlison. A: I cry when I cut up onions Suddenly, the driver saw a Gunners supporter walking down the road, and he instinctively swerved as if to hit him. She said, "I am not going out with you now, we are finished". Q. A: arsenel. Jessica Amlee Q: Why do Arsenal blokes drink from a saucer? Since 1961:Man has walked on the moon.England has won a World Cup.The Berlin Wall was put up.The Berlin Wall was pulled down.Color television has been invented.Internet has been invented.Lots of people have Netflix and chilled.People have started paying in Cryptocurrency.But Spurs still havent won the league. To make sure you never miss out on your favourite NEW stories, we're happy to send you some reminders, Click 'OK' then 'Allow' to enable notifications, .css-1diosym{color:black;}@media (prefers-color-scheme:dark){.css-1diosym{color:#fff;}}Published7:57,16 January 2023 GMT@media (prefers-color-scheme:dark){.css-jirzs7{color:#72B97D;}}| Last updated8:01,16 January 2023 GMT. Like the massive whopper that he is, Richard Keys somehow managed to blame the incident on Mikel Arteta's actions on the touchline. Topics:.css-wpf514{color:#72B97D;}Football, Arsenal, Tottenham Hotspur, Premier League, Jake Paul FINALLY proves he is a 'professional boxer' with incredible video after Tommy Fury defeat, Fans claim Saudi Pro League is 'scripted' after Cristiano Ronaldo and Martin Campana's 'bizarre' one-on-one encounter, Alan Smith's horrific leg break injury while playing for Man United 17 years ago left him struggling to walk, Fans cant believe this South Sudan goalkeeper is only 18 years old, Oleksandr Zinchenko tipped to win Premier League 'Player of the Season' award, Arsenal fan claims only one player from Bayern's 2012/13 side would start in their current team. A: Nice tattoo Tottenham have their own customized version of the phrase to bottle. To Spurs a game or have something Spursed is equivalent to bottling something. A policeman was driving along one day when he saw a car in a ditch.When he looked inside he saw a deceased man with a spurs shirt on, a dildo up his arse, a pink tutu on, and a lot of over-the-top make-up. ', Megan Fox was thinking: 'That Arsenal fan must have tried to kiss me and actually kissed the Spurs fan and got slapped for it.'. The first cat says "as we live at the football stadium let's divide it by team. Shoot the Arsenal Fan. He takes another one and jumps.The third passenger was Mikel Arteta: I am the Manager of Arsenal FC and I am one of the most creative, most intelligent, and well-remembered football players. I set my XBOX password to "Tottenhams Defense". I set my XBOX password to "Arsenal Defense". 'Hero in the stands' - Arsenal fan trolls Tottenham by sneaking into Tottenham Jokes For Arsenal Fans are a topic that is being searched for and appreciated by netizens today. The two examples show that football fans are capable of behaving impeccably, because usually it's one or two morons ruining it for everyone else. 35 Tottenham Jokes You Cannot Share With Spurs Fans Q: Who delivers Arsenals Christmas presents? You can wrap a word in square brackets to make it appear bold. There are also arsenal puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls. He phoned her up and said "what the fuck's going on? Q: Which sexual position produces the ugliest children? September 7, 2022, 12:41 am A. Why should Spurs have some talks with Theresa May?They got out of Europe within 2 months. "Story Arsenal JokesTwo boys are playing football in a park in London when one of them is attacked by a rottweiler. Q: What does a Gunners fan do when his team has won the Champions League? Q: What is the shortest book in the world called? So far, he has been punched, spat at, kicked, and verbally abused. The first is a Manchester United supporter, the second an Arsenal supporter, and the third a Spurs supporter. ", boasts the little girl. by He takes one and jumps.The fourth passenger was the Pope. A subscription makes a thoughtful gift for both family and friends. There's nothing worth craping on! The last title won on a Spurs ground? Great! A: Even a fat chick scores every once in a while! I want Arsenal to win the Champions League.Santa: So what color of the dragon are we talking about here? The Arsenal fan nods his head in agreement, opens it and takes a few big swigs from the bottle, then handing it back to the Spurs fan. Get insight to top players, instructions & drills and extensive coverage of equipment. ", This fan then posted: "Whoever did this deserves a raise. And he got very depressed. This must be a sign from God that we should meet and be friends and live together in peace the rest of our days.". After 25 . (You can preview and edit on the next page), Upload 1-4 Pictures or Graphics (optional). Q: What's the difference between a line of cocaine and a pair of Arsenal tickets? Finally, things might be starting to turn our way! cried Wenger, "that's a big word for a Seven year old!! It was almost as though football was exercising its yin and yang, using divine intervention to restore balance in the universe by ensuring that Arsenal's primacy was to be protected. Fans' Forum | Arsenal.com "That's excellent! Were totally in their heads rent free. Why do ducks fly over White Hart Lane upside down? "I'm going to give Mass at St. Francis church, about two miles down the road," replied the priest. A: So Arsenal supporters can get laid too. They said lets split it based on the soccer clubs we support. "A large amount of our best weapons and munitions have just been captured, sir.". 'St Gooner's day' - Some Spurs react to finishing above Arsenal for