They seem to make him quite happy. I was talking about this statement Im Proud of you to a friend.I was annoyed about someone saying they were proud of me who barley knows me. Although its worth taking a mental note of that in case a pattern does develop. Why are you taking the credit for my effort? (I'd prefer "Congratulations! From what I read, she falls into the category of know them well but I wonder if its not something a bit out of place. "This isn't easy, but you did the right thing." Sometimes supporting a friend and letting them know you're proud takes the form of helping them cope with a difficult decision they made. Linda Adams, in her book Be Your Best, quotes Charleszetta Waddles (African American activist): You cant give people pride, but you can provide the kind of understanding that makes people look to their inner strengths and find their own sense of pride. Do you mean you are also proud of yourself or that you are proud of the other person? Briefly, some difficulties include: Four-year-old John shows his Mum a painting he's just done. Tell me something else, Ive heard this at home. This is when his feelings go deeper than the surface, and he genuinely cares about you as a person. These two simple words"I care"can mean so much to a person who may be feeling like the entire world is against them. That would have shown so much more appreciation for what I do 24 hours a day, instead of a measely Im proud of you.. Im happy that youre with me in good and bad times. After reading this, I now believe its because I dont look up to him in any way and he doesnt know me so well as to fully appreciate my accomplishment like my family would. Often the 'I'm proud of you' I get from strangers includes an unwanted and inappropriate familiarity, a hug a bit too long or a bit too hard, a knowing look and more emphasis on the 'I' than the 'you' in the 'I . Isnt she elevating herself above me to oversea my behaviors to make sure I was a good little girl? Suddenly I found myself questioning my rather lame Im thrilled for you. Set realistic goals. You would have to know the whole story. Proud" as praise - an external judgement of someone elses achievements. It does not take it away from them. I was very annoyed with her (mainly due to her attitude) and balled her out at the til. A Macquarie Dictionary definition of proud is: feeling pleasure or satisfaction over something conceived as highly honourable or creditable to oneself. And Im so ashamed of you. 10. This can help to create stronger relationships and can help to create a positive and constructive environment. I have never regarded the word pride as implying that the one feeling it is somehow responsible for it. The rest were manual labourers. I can point them out to my friends and say, Those are my sons!. It felt great, and as he falls into both of the categories above, was fully appreciated. You have always been there for me and our friendship is something that will never go away. I teach high school. "), Parent: "Im proud that you got all As in your school report/won that tennis trophy", How might you feel as the child? Narcissism can be a personality trait and a mental health disorder, and someone can have narcissistic tendencies without being labeled a "narcissist." When you live with narcissistic. Larissa's writing has been published in Huffington Post Australia, Early Childhood Australia's blog 'The Spoke'; Her Canberra, Gordon Training International blog, and Generation Next blog. And family can often be proud, but as with most things family, the obligation and bias dull the effect. But this will be seen as an overreaction. She continually updates her course with new examples and relevant material from the latest research. Is the childs achievement actually a reflection of their parents achievement? This is a noble endeavor. Didnt your manager think you were capable of putting such a report together? Listen to your inner wisdom, and make a note of the meaning that resonates with you. This has always happened, but in a context like the current one, in which both rivalry and appearances are highly valued elements, it is very common for this class of individuals, educated to become this way, to appear. Her future mother-in-law (my friend) told me later she was proud of me. Thats the response I was expecting from you. She was very rude and grouchy with me and reluctantly corrected her errors after I asked the manager to get involved. 7. Most times, people use "I am busy" as a tool for avoidance. I use the other terms like Im so happy for you. I do find it odd to say "I'm proud of you for doing the dishes". Kids also like to know that they invoke parental prideas long as it genuine! If there is a mentor relationship, fine, but when the relationship is supposed to be about equals, But this seems less common. Its all because of blessings and good wishes, I could do it. You will even fall in love with me again seeing the next surprise! That way, all they have to do is show up. I think the phrase Im proud of you is insulting, for the reasons noted above. . I do not believe that parents need to say "I'm proud of you" to show their support of, and their emotional connection to, their child. We had a really nice time. You can accomplish anything that you put your mind to. Im glad I found this interesting discussion, as I just had a man I am seeing state I am proud of you and it made me feel great, yet at the same time realized that it can come from a position of higher power so I needed to contemplate the relationship. Dont just thank them, you can reply with some cute responses to let them know that youre proud the same as they are. 14. Also, theyre proud of you, when you do something like your family has been doing or you did something way greater or different than anyone in your family so far. Someone who credibly says "I'm proud of you" usually has two characteristics. Encouraging children and others to be proud of themselves is healthier. "How I do love you!" Lovers often feel proud when they see their beloved in action. Let them know that you are grateful for their support and that you appreciate their words. After reading these posts, I think the following: a person will feel pride in anothers accomplishment when they feel deeply connected with the other. You shouldnt be. But, the real credit goes to you and you only! Be proud that you are here. Next course: We hope to run a face to face course beginning in early May, 2023. When someone knows that you are not only proud, but you are inspired and amazed, it will be an even better compliment. But what does proud mean? Continually acting to seek the approval of a parent is onerous for a child. 7. It means she feels proud for what you've done or achieved. 17. Sometimes people use it to appropriate the achievements of others, which is a sad and awful thing. Who is saying this to whom? 1. Talents Compliments. I again said. Last Updated on February 28, 2023 by Ketan. Now, of course, its diminished if the person throws the phrase around too casually to colleagues, all family members, etc., but if they are a genuine and caring person, then I believe it shows a deeper connection. Someone else's pride in you does not usually translate to pride in yourself. Refresher workshop for P.E.T. Rather than the child feeling respected for their efforts, they may feel patronised, put-down. Compare: "Oh bear!" Thats my life goal. This mindset will help you achieve your goals, too. I almost never tell anyone Im proud of them, for exactly this reason. But, it can also be a bit overwhelming because it puts the spotlight on us and can make us feel exposed. My experiences with people saying they were proud of me (or at least making me aware in other ways that they were proud of me) first came from my own parents, mostly my dad. Don't disguise it as concern, either. But I believe that spouses say it, and siblings. A 2017 analysis of 2012 national data from the US, showed that parent behaviour could have a protective role in a their child's mental health. They didn't have to do that. Let me tell you why. Pause before responding. For going back to work when Im still hardly sleeping, due to having an 8 week old at home? Well, that truly makes my day. I have always seen it as, Ive been there, done that, and think you have done it too.. I cannot tell you how happy I am, for her, to witness her achievement and how much I admire her tenacity in overcoming all she has. Thank you. 4 . In what context? By accepting the compliment and reflecting on your qualities, you may feel more satisfied in life. If you feel stuck on getting that pride going or can't seem to identify the traits or qualities you're most proud of in yourself, go back in time. I was very irritated and angry. I drove home and when I got home I texted her that I had arrived home safely. Give yourself time to process your reaction to something before jumping in with a response. On Wednesday, a Proud Boy leader, Joseph . But some of us never heard the expression in our lives till we were adults. And, you are the best thing ever to happen to me. Thanks! 11. Required fields are marked *. 25. Posted articles do not constitute advice or recommendations. Your thoughts and ideas are so creative, which has allowed you to refine your talent into something unique from others. 6. Overall, seeing your parents, family and loved ones are proud of you, is a great compliment. However what messages might our children actually hear? When someone says Im proud of you, its important to take the time to think about how you want to respond. . Maybe some people act in a way that makes you upset they're doing that on behalf of your country, but you just remember that's not the reason you're proud to be from where you are. The words I am so proud of you sum up those sentiments. So, how should we respond to Im proud of you? God knew just what we needed when He gave us you. Especially when you get to hear this from your parents, it means they're happy to see you grow up the way they raised you. From that day on, I felt like I couldnt really trust him, and now I know why. Disclaimer: The articles, blogs, testimonials and P.E.T. SFD a bit late in the day to be commenting but I think your assessment of the phrase is spot on. Better Responses 2023. To say you're proud of someone is to say that you can relate to them and, if in their shoes, you would be proud of the accomplishment. In this research, children of parents who never said "I'm proud of you" were significantly more likely to contemplate, plan or attempt suicide. Sajeev Rajan Maybe Im mad, because it makes me feel like he thinks I wasnt doing enough before I started back at work- like carrying children inside of my body for nearly two years, plus birthing them, plus never sleeping, plus cleaning for HOURS upon HOURS everyday, plus cooking, plus plus plus wasnt enough to be proud of. This "mental timeout" gives you the space to process the insulting remark in light of what it was; someone's thoughtlessness or an attack meant to provoke a reaction. that he harrassed them or . B Blue Apple Senior Member The only people there who went to university were the pharmacist, the physician/surgeon, lab technologist, x-ray technician and the like, as well as the school teachers. Knowing someone is proud of you, is indeed one of the most rewarding feelings in the world. I wasnt happy with this performance. Youre the most amazing parents and thank you for believing in me. They mean the exact opposite of what you think. PJ. May God's blessings be bestowed upon you forever and always. 14. No. Approval is different to acceptance. I know that it is in the nature of the internet that you can confirm, and get consensus about most any belief you have, but, if that is what has happened here, Im OK with it. Ive been lurching between How can you be proud of someone elses children? but then challenging that with But then as we do both have a close relationship with her we probably have had some influence on how shes turning out . (Of course, there are always people who try to suck up to youbut hopefully you can see through it!) I like what Chris Yeh said about the (phrase/declaration), Im proud of you, At the same time, the paper stated that "a key is to ensure that children feel positively connected to their parents and family," and that parents needed to demonstrate to their children that "they cared about them", that they "had their back". A compliment like this means a lot to us, seeing that we give our people a chance to be happy and proud because of us. but not the p-word. Can't you do something different?" 1. This is why we say, I am very happy for you! They are the one to feel proudit was THEIR accomplishment. It can also help to show appreciation to others and can help to create stronger relationships. When someone says they are busy, it could mean that they are busy. They often tell each other they are proud of one anothers achievements and they all know its genuine. 2. The words hit me like a . What would replace this oh-so-common parenting expression? 12. The best way to do this is to express your own feelings of appreciation and gratitude for their words. By being proud of me that person shares their mind and soul with my mind and soul and includes me in a certain extended period of that persons life. Thank you for always being such a supportive partner. Responding to Im proud of you with gratitude is also a great way to show appreciation to others. Simply thanking them or hugging them is an immediate reaction to it. She said yes and then she said she wanted to go with me. Ive told you that, youre going to feel proud of me. For many of us, hearing this phrase is like a warm hug. He may understand you have daddy issues and need a masculine pat on the back. To be proud of yourself for your success is one thing, for another is to be proud, they had better have seen you come up through the trenches to witness that moment or to have been involved in the process. Your email address will not be published. For doing what Im supposed to do? 1. We laughed a lot and re-lived some old memories. He may not have expected you to be qualified for the job. implying a mentor relationship. If a friend said it to me, I might say "Thank you", but I'd be thinking "Well, who gave you authority over me, then?". It makes a difference I think. But who are you to affirm? We all have people in our lives who make us feel special, appreciated, and respected. It was then that I realized that who I am is a unique, valuable, and loveable person. I wouldnt say Im proud of you in this situation. 9. Thank You. #8: They say you need to change. I felt great to know he as proud of me, especially after he had read my term report cards in high school. Yea, Thank you is not the only response. Before you bring your GF home, know- How to tell your parents that you have a girlfriend, now. "I know you have a lot going on . Reading the Parent Effectiveness Training book, or attending a PET course, will help develop positive and respectful parent-child relationships, and explore alternatives to praise. We are probably trying to encourage our children, and even instil in them a sense of pride in their own achievements. Because of this, it might feel awkward to say "I'm proud of you" to a friend or colleague, even if you mean it. So we arranged to have her drive to the hotel where I was staying and we drove there together. 2. Originally Published: March 28, 2018. momcilog/E+/Getty . In fact, whenever I hear this phrase from a colleague, I immediately understand that this person in reality is envious of my achievements and the phrase Im really happy for you in fact means Im very unhappy that its not my achievement, that you and not me is getting the praise/ promotion/ degree/ lottery win, I hate you for that and I wish I was in your place right now. (a short read). I'm so proud of you" I say things like "I love seeing you so happy with your work" and "I love seeing your words in print". Ive been totally using that word all wrong sheesh, all the complaints about the misuse of the word makes me feel bad about what and how I been addressing my peers and friends. Aw yeah, yeah, yeah. Here subject and object are the same person. I was irritated by that remark. 10. "If by a "Liberal" they mean someone who looks ahead and not behind, someone who welcomes new ideas without rigid reactions, someone who cares about the welfare of the people-their health, their housing, their schools, their jobs, their civil rights and their civil liberties-someone who believes we can break through the stalemate and suspicions that grip us in our policies abroad, if that is . . Don't lose control of your emotions. If a homeless guy on the street (lower status) or Bill Gates (don't know him personally) tell me they're proud of me it won't have a huge positive effect. Happy I did it, finally! If you had a hand in that success then I think it is ok to say, I am so proud of you as it does imply that the speaker played a part. (I'd prefer "Congratulations! In what context. On the other hand, my brother has said it to me, and although he did not play a role in my achievement, it still meant something positive to me and it felt good. While "sb is proud of him" can express positive meaning. I was damned proud of her for overcoming this setback and told her so. In these instances, simply saying "Wow" (and meaning it) will let them know you're proud. But, when you want to make your responses more effective and special, these are some good ways to do it. I knew it, if no one was going to like this. A special note on research suggesting that parents saying "I'm proud of you" prevents future mental illness and suicidal ideation in their children. Friend: "At least you have a job or daughter.". You look so much better!". But it had a very positive impact on this one child. Especially when your best friend is saying You make me proud, they arent just complimenting you. Its probably contempt and anger. Let them know how much better you feel now that you're smokefree. The phrase, in my belief, implies my contribution as a parent. I was excited to see your reaction. What is BBC Future? Thanks to you, as well for being such a caring and supportive partner. http://pbskids.org/rogers/songLyricsImProudOfYou.html. I think that the phrase really bothers me, because its like saying, Wow, I didnt think you were good enough to ever achieve -insert whatever here.- My fiance said it to me last night while I was doing the dishes. But only emotionally intelligent people understand why. Yes, I think this is why my friend, even though older, was proud of me, I felt was being presumptious to put herself above me. I had a lot of this type of treatment in that small community. Gun owners are more likely than non-gun owners to know someone who has been shot (51% vs. 40% of non-owners). What Does It Mean When Someone Says I'm Proud Of You? Interesting perspective. To me, to be proud of someone, you do not have to be above them in any way although that is usually the case ie older or more experienced (or snobbish if that is how you are) To me, you do have to have some connection with the person you are proud of. Use thirty phrases to say "I'm proud of you" to make the special person feel good and empowered. Similarly, if someone tries to imply a mentor relationship by telling you, Im proud of you, its like a bad parent trying to claim the rights and status of a good one. God being what He is, at once moral and all-powerful, the immoral life is doomed to overthrow, whether the immorality consist in grasping rapacity, proud self-aggrandizement, cruel exaction, exulting triumph or senseless idolatry. So - does this research negate my concerns regarding the phrase "I'm proud of you"? Here are seven possible ways to interpret his compliment. However, is this what happens? Hearing those words can make us feel seen, understood, and appreciated. 8. Your friend wants to say "I am proud of you too, my friend". As soon as you break . I'll help with whatever you need to make it . For what? If parents don't 'approve' of their child, then they disapprove. 3. If this is the case, then of whom is the parent really proud? When someone says Im proud of you, they are investing in you and putting themselves out there. 27. Especially when you get to hear this from your parents, it means theyre happy to see, 43 Motivational Messages For Hard Working Boyfriend, funny excuses to ask for money from your parents, How to tell your parents that you have a girlfriend, 9 Best Answers To How Was Your Interview?, 16 Clever Comebacks When Someone Tells You To Grow Up, 18 Best Responses To Backhanded Compliments On Social Media. They just say it. If someone calls you boring: "Yeah, and what makes you so exciting?" Nothing,. The child has done well enough for the parent to bring out the big guns the proud word. Larissa is passionate about the skills taught in Effectiveness Training. She texted back that I make her smile and that shes proud of me. An acquaintance commented on a recent Facebook post I made that he was proud of me and immediately I felt so mad about that but couldnt figure out why. Sure, they get angry with one another, as do all brothers, but they forgive and move on. I started to cry with the realization that in my 40+ years I had never heard it from anyone but him. "I know someone in recovery". Overall, its reserved for people who you trust and respect. I have always struggled with this word. Again, these phrases are my evaluation of my childs effort. I didnt expect that this would mean so much for us. Imperfect, striving, playful, loving, learning. Mull over various relaxing options, like meeting up for coffee or tea, and then send along one concrete plan, Manly says. I wish everyone had a genuine friend like you. It is a feeling of relief and it was all worth while you bringing them up properly. Click to share on LinkedIn (Opens in new window), Click to share on Twitter (Opens in new window), Click to share on Facebook (Opens in new window), Click to email a link to a friend (Opens in new window). Consequently I now cringe every time I hear the term being used out of context . By Ben Collins and Brandy Zadrozny. Ive been waiting for a long time to give you this surprise! Don't remind them how far they've come. I dont think there is a neutral position. Benjamin Franklin Positive, Forgiveness, Respect 985 Copy quote When someone tells you that they are proud of you, not only are they impressed by something you did and who you are, but they also want others to know it. 2. I thought to myself, who is she to be proud of me? So you better know in which tone theyre saying so. I cannot understand that and think he is misusing the word. I feel virtually murderous towards them. When someone insults you, the first thing you want to do is take a pause and a deep breath. All Rights Reserved. When you respond to someones words of admiration with gratitude, youre showing that you value and respect them. Approval is a parent's judgement of a child's choices - and to a child, this feels like a judgement of them as a person. thats a case of someone doing one-upmanship. You have overcome something you may not had confidence in yourself to succeed. How often do we utter this common parenting phrase, in moments of pleasure at our childs latest achievement? Oh, youre one of my trusted supporters! 2. They know I mean: I am so impressed by what you did, and proud to be able to call myself your mother. If I said this to a friend it would mean the same thing. Look him in the eyes and smile. I agree with you: its sad that he did what my parents should have done. Who determines the meaning of words? What a surprise! As your friend I want you to know that there is nothing I wouldn't do for you. What someone else does might make me proud to be his or her friend/teacher/partner/whatever and thats exactly how Ill express it Im proud to be your fill-in-the-blank. ( Or even what youve done makes me proud to call myself your ____). Taking a few deep breaths can help you focus. May these Proud Quotes On Success inspire you to take action so that you may live your dreams. The first time I remember hearing it said to me (though I'm sure there were times before the instance I'm describing . In most situation expresses negative connotations, such as "He is very ", which means he is over proud of himself (). Proverbs 18:12 Before destruction the heart of man is haughty, but humility goes before honor. If you care deeply for someone, it is entirely possible to share the sense of pride that they feel in THEIR achievement without your hijacking it in any way. You worked so hard, you really deserve that job! That proud phrase didnt bother me at first, but the more I thought about it, the more I began to wonder, what does she mean when she says shes proud of me? Probably no big deal but would be interested in input from others especially other females. 0. It remains condescending and arrogant. And why should I stop using this phrase? For even more than mentors, but for people who deserve your care and attention in life. Well, thats what we are going to share in this post. Plus, they also express how proud they are, when you do something special for them. Usually friends say "I'm so happy for you" or "Really nice job!" I know you and I haven't been seeing eye-to-eye lately. A very concise and articulate post. My ex just said the same thing to me yesterday and it just didnt sound right to me. Thank you., Im honored that youre proud of me. One might consider that the mature thing to do, or the business savvy thing to do, but she has had nothing to do with them for years, because they are arrogant and condescending. Patricia Velasquez. Im proud of myself, too. When you respond to Im proud of you with gratitude, youre showing that you value the words of the person expressing their admiration and respect for you. Best of BBC Future. This canstop the development of their own, "You look really pleased with your effort". If you're more than a friend it's more loving. For what? You might say: "I'm so proud of you for trying to quit smoking. I can see a peer, a spouse, or even a child saying that to someone who got a new deserved promotion, for instance. And if one doesnt respect ones parent, what is the reaction to such a statement? Here are 5 other ways to say "I'm proud of you" to older children: 06 "It's been an honor to watch you grow up." This can be used for both a teen and an adult. When someone says Im proud of you, its important to take the time to think about how you want to respond. Marilyn, My life changed the day I heard Mr. Rogers tell me he liked me just the way I was. Family Tree. Luke 18:9-14 ESV / 5 helpful votes Helpful Not Helpful The important piece is if they are genuine in their caring (and have been consistent, contrary to the parent that was never there but then feels pride). Partner: "You think you have a lot going on, let me tell you . How Do I Tell Him I Like Him The Best Method (Proven), What Does It Mean When She Calls You Daddy, Im so glad that youre proud of me. This will help to create a bond between the two of you and will strengthen your relationship. Keep believing in me, I will make you proud more and more. 20 of the Best Encouraging Words that Hold any Caregivers Up 06 "Tim, I keep wondering what Dad would say if he were alive right now. When someone says Im proud of you, first of all thanking them is the common response we usually have. You should always be proud of who you are imo, and if that includes your nationality then that's fine. He thinks you're absolutely wonderful and he's pumped to be in a relationship with you; it's written all over his face. If you want to reply saying you're proud of the person saying he's proud of you, the only correct answer out of those four is "I'm proud of you too". 3. but with my Mothers words of wisdom always echoing. I can make it possible only because you give me hope. A person receiving this praise could also feel belittled it could feel as though their achievement was unexpected - a surprise to the other person. Whoever those people are, they are probably your mentors. Someone who credibly says "I'm proud of you" usually has two characteristics. Had I ever thought about the meaning behind these words? Thanks for all the interresting comments and opinions on how people use the phrase Im proud of you. This will help to build your self-esteem and will help you to feel more confident. Move away from the source of your negative thoughts. but you do play a role in their success! Here are other litmus tests I've blogged about. Whatever influence we had on the person, or information we gave the person, what they did with it is their accomplishment not ours. The phrase that has always hit me hardest, however, has been "I'm proud of you." Someone saying that they're proud of you implies that, not only are they impressed by what you do and who you are, they also want others to know it. William, however, was too proud and too obstinate to lend himself to such a course. I may never know but you can simply ask him if you question the genuineness in his response. Later, I saw her in a restaurant and apologized for balling her out in public. But I want to let you know that I accept you whether I agree with you or not, and I'm committed to working on our relationship so we both feel . For me, this was a huge take-away moment. Let them know you think it's great they're considering quitting and that you're ready to help. Especially when you get to hear this from your parents, it means theyre happy to see you grow up the way they raised you.